"The Change is In" from Fernando

Check out Rich's excellent piece on Fernando in today's issue of the Vanguard for the full story and in the meantime here's a few words from the man himself:

Banana Keeper saves civilization

I was fooling around today on Starfucker's myspace (one of the many activities I enjoy whilst pretending to work) when I was suddenly struck by a mysterious picture sitting just below the "Sounds Like" heading. What was this strangely phallic object? Why, it was the miraculous invention known as the Banana Keeper!

Apparently banana protection is a problem for the general public as there are multiple variations on this bizarre product ranging from the goofy to the overtly dildo-esque.

No longer will our bananas be subject to inopportune bruising. No longer will my repressed homosexuality have to be manifest itself through repeated viewings of Bromance. The age of the Banana Keeper is upon us!

More Mad Men!!

Fortunately for fans of period drama/blatant sexism, Mad Men will be returning to AMC this summer helmed by series creator Matthew Weiner.

Until very recently the question of whether or not he would return was up in the air as the mastermind behind the Sterling Cooper-verse apparently demanded a hefty seven figure income to stay on with the show. Thankfully, some form of a deal has been reached which will include that seven figure paycheck and is also reported to entail a movie development deal with Lionsgate (fingers crossed on that one).

In the mean time I can sit back and let my dorktastic excitement for season 3 slowly build to fever pitch.

Speaking of blatant sexism:

All the reading you could want...

The Vanguard has searched high and low to bring you the best of the best sports links and timewasters for your holiday Monday. Enjoy!!

Just to prove that there is more to the Portland Trail Blazers than Darius Miles phat salary and the latest injury update here is Greg Oden's less-than-funny undersized bus commercial. Like I said, not that funny.

Meanwhile Rudy Fernandez is headed to the dunk contest as the United States gets another taste of the potent fan reaction of international players. This after it seems like the entire Houston starting five will also be doubling as the West's team starters at the All-Star game.

Like I said before, if Rudy could just do this again... I think he'd be fine... Somehow I imagine Howard not wanting to comply.

Meanwhile, the O's high school writer, Doug Binder, had a cool story about Jefferson High School's basketball program.

In case you were wondering, it seems that the two biggest names that could be on the move before the NBA Trading block are: Jermaine O'Neal and Monta Ellis. Both seem unhappy about their current roles and O'Neal has only hindered the flair and creativity of the Raptors. Couldn't the Blazers use a productive veteran power forward to back up Aldridge? Just a thought.

One of the story's of the week was the announcement of USC QB Mark Sanchez declaring for the NFL draft and leaving a broken-hearted Pete Carroll alone at the podium. While Carroll took a bunch of heat for his unprofessional and unusual behavior Gregg Doyel presents a different side of the story. Worth a look...

Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe sums up my feelings on Arizona Cardinals and their fans nicely. Of course he wrote this before the Buzzsaw's huge victory yesterday but I think there's still some application.

And if you were wondering how Matt Leinart feels about being the backup quarterback on a Super Bowl squad, apparently he's taking it quite well.

And if you're having any college football withdrawals after what was a pretty good season, unless you're a Viking fan, check out how you can convince yourself that your other favorite team actually won the national championship. See for yourself:

Oregon

Oregon State

Of course Utah probably didn't need this kind of site... They sort of had their own parade last week...